Story of My Life

This tumblr is about as random and scattered as my brain. You're welcome ;)
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My microbiology teacher just said we’re going to be learning about pathogens in different ‘mattresses’

It took me a minute to realize he meant ‘matrices’

omfg someone near me is congested and every time they inhale their nose whistles and it’s driving me crazy

UGGGHHHHH

gallifreyngel:

the winston twitter account is the greatest thing to happen to this fandom

(via lecterwill)

edgebug:

tricksterer:

my ex is still logged into twitter on my phone
i could be cliche and tweet ‘I’m a DOUCHEEE lol’

no


instead

every few days i will tweet something he would totally say

but he will never remember tweeting it

slowly the slightly out of place tweets will drive him insane


victory

you are satan

(via moraglefay)

misshealthgeek:

A very picky chinese farmer who had a bout of genius decided that pears were boring.. tasty but very boring and uninteresting. As any modern day picasso or brilliant person does he decide to go against his mother’s words and play with his food. Setting out to create a buddha pear by encasing the young pears in molds while they’re still on the tree.As they grow they have no choice but to take the shape of the spiritual figure. Buddha pears are sold in china, but the farmer plans to spread the love worldwide. 

(via hiddlesbatchlove)

ragingconservative007:

spookygeiszlers:

kiggor:

Uromastyx likes her belly rubbed

this is a fucking lizard getting her belly rubbed if you don’t think that’s the cutest shit then get out of my blog

LOOK AT ITS LIL ARMS FLAPPING AWWWWWWWW

(via delintthedarkone)

this week, on kitchen nightmares

(via captaincalahaan)

nihilisme:

ittybittylittleworld:

punkasslouis:

I just watched a kid break down in the bookstore because his books for the semester totaled $600 and that’s the american university system in a nutshell

I was on the verge of tears when I got to the cashier so yeah, that’s messed up

Go here and just, don’t waste any more money okay?

(via adhara)

girlgrowingsmall:

beastlyart:

boosket:

ask-bloody-fundanny:

roughkiss:

spookytheford:

did-you-kno:

Source

Oh god thank fucking christ.

I usually don’t reblog these, but I feel like some of my followers could probably use the reassurance. I definitely have these kinds of thoughts sometimes.

so i’m not crazy for randomly thinking such thoughts? what a relief!

Edgar Allan Poe had a name for it too: The Imp of the Perverse. he compared the impulses to a demon that urges people to do the wrong thing simply because it can be done

The compulsion to jump from high places is called “l’appel du vide" in French. The call of the void. I think it’s specific to that one instance, but I think it’s a cool phrase for this phenomenon in general.

I think about this with random sharp objects laying around, too. “What if I just jammed this into my eye or throat right now? … oh god WHAT.” Just… fucking christ, brain. Don’t.

Reblogging this again because most people don’t/never know how normal these thoughts are, and that can be a major source of stress. It’s okay. You’re okay. Just, you know, don’t follow through on that shit.

(via moraglefay)

I never knew Martin Freeman doing a Minnesotan accent would bring me so much joy

karliahthebrave:

love you man

(via filminmotion)